


Scar Tissue

by lostinthesounds



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Deckerstar - Freeform, F/M, and shocked!chloe, in the mood for some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-09 18:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17411708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: Lucifer takes a deep breath, “I know you’re in there, I saw you run....” it hurts to know that it was him who she was running from, he sighs shakily. “I just want to talk, that’s all I want, detective.”He tried to reason carefully, the waters that treaded so deeply already are fragile enough. After everything they’ve been through together, everything he wanted them to be, he ruined it.





	Scar Tissue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This might not even get read as much as other fics for this lovely fandom but, this is my birth into the Lucifer fandom! (Hahaa. Sorry.) 
> 
> I’m on 3x05 and couldn’t help myself with writing a little (decent) fic for deckerstar. 
> 
> REMINDER! This most likely doesn’t compare to canon in the show, I know some of the plot points mentioned in this fic aren’t even what happens. So please just enjoy my take on whatever I missed or didn’t clarify!! Enjoy *insert devil emoji*

“ _Detective_ ,” Lucifer pleads, his forehead hits the wooden door — _her_ front door, to be exact — as he tries to still his fast beating heart. “I can explain, I can explain everything. I never wanted you to see me like....” 

 

 _Like_ the devil he was, like the monster he was so convinced he was. Lucifer shuts his eyes painfully, although it feels like pain is the only thing he could...be. He could still see the tears form in her blue eyes, how Chloe’s body trembled in the same emotion that she claimed she never felt around him; fear. All she felt was fear, the utter last thing that he ever wanted. 

 

Lucifer takes a deep breath, “I know you’re in there, I saw you run....” it hurts to know that it was him who she was running _from_ , he sighs shakily. “I just want to talk, that’s all I want, detective.”

 

He tried to reason carefully, the waters that treaded so deeply already are fragile enough. After everything they’ve been through together, everything he wanted them to be, he ruined it.

 

Silence met him in return, and suddenly he’s taken back into the moments where his mother and Amenadiel were standing in front of him with Arzael’s blade in hand, telling him to feel every emotion that’s been locked inside him for millennia. _Centuries of pain_ , put into action. If only he could of avoided how many of those emotions were about a certain woman, someone who’s beautiful, hardheaded and intriguing. In that moment, he remembers it all. 

 

 _Your father made Amenadiel come down to Earth, bless her parents and put the detective on your path, Lucifer_. Chloe was a miracle for, and because of him. 

 

In those brief seconds after his mother’s encouragement, Lucifer was the one to channel his bottled emotions into something he didn’t want. If going back to Heaven; the home he was banished from, meant leaving his human friend’s behind, he couldn’t possibly do that. 

 

“Chloe, you know I won’t hurt you? You must know that.” Lucifer says her actual name, he could hear his voice so broken and it’s like he was back into his early life punishment in Hell. He _hates_ it. “I never lied to you, I will never lie to you.” 

 

His chest feels hollow — not because of his wings being such a burden — but it was his heart. He feels his heart clench in  his body, aching for something, someone that he cannot have. _Someone_ that he lost because he was only showing the truth. There he was, standing in front of Chloe Decker’s home like a _pathetic_ human being because he can’t go another minute with her anger and fear being targeted at him. Demons shouldn’t feel emotions, it’s the reason they can’t contain them. It’s even worse for them than humans, it only took falling in love with one to realize. 

 

Was it fate? _God,_ even Lucifer can’t even prove that _._ All he knew was that whatever Chloe and himself have, it was real. His father made irrational decisions for most of his existence, Lucifer being one of them, but he knows deep inside that this was meant to happen. She was scared, and that was okay for right now. 

 

The only other human that knew was the doctor, and Lucifer stayed away for a week before things had a chance at being normal again, (With the help of Maze of course). But Chloe was different, everything was different with her. She isn’t his therapist that has weekly sessions with him, _no_ , Chloe was someone who he’d protect with his entire everlasting life. A flicker of hope ignited in his chest when he hears rustling on the other side of the door — Amenadiel would’ve laughed at him, but it didn’t matter. 

 

“Detective? Is that you?” 

 

“Lucifer?” 

 

The voice was childish and naturally curious. It wasn’t the person he was looking for, but rather the child she created. It was her daughter, Beatrice. 

 

“Is the detective in the house?” He asks with caution, knowing something was wrong. “Is she okay? Beatrice, where is she?” 

 

His breathing is hard as his hand curls into a fist and rests against the wooden frame, waiting for any sign of the younger girl to walk closer to him. He just needs a confirmation that she isn’t in paralyzed shock, that’s all he wanted to know. 

 

“Lucifer, she’s in the bathroom and hasn’t come out since she got here. I don’t know what’s wrong.” She gets closer and her voice gets softer, “Did you do something?” 

 

“What would make you think that?” 

 

“ _Well_..” she drags out the word, and sighs. That girl was too smart for her own good, “She only gets sad about you nowadays. She likes you a lot, and you hurt her.” 

 

Lucifer licks his dry lips and fights the subsided anger in his chest, it wasn’t directed at her but entirely on himself. 

 

“That’s never my intention, I never want to cause her pain.” The shakiness in his voice is back, “ _Please_ , you have to understand.” 

 

He doesn’t expect a little girl to comprehend the length of his mistake and problems with her mother, but he needs her to try. Chloe clearly didn’t want to speak with him, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He just wants to know how she feels; the fear, anger, disbelief and shock. He wants to know it all because partners understand those types of things about eachother. They were and are _still_ partners. Nothing should change because he’s still the same person who annoys her to _figuratively_ hell and back every mission, and knows every quirk about her. 

 

“You like my mom, Lucifer?” 

 

“Very much so, yes.” He says with a sharpness to his voice. 

 

“How much?” 

 

“What do you humans describe a feeling that you can’t control? That you can’t find an exact emotion to pinpoint for just one person?” Lucifer could practically see the girl’s head tilt in confusion, so he continues. “That’s how I feel.” 

 

“I’m only in third grade, I understood nothing.” She giggles, and Lucifer cant help but chuckle himself. He didn’t know a lot about the grade system, so he didn’t get much either. “I’m going to let you come inside, because you always make my mom feel better...but don’t tell her I let you in.” 

 

Lucifer rubs his face with his hands only to still feel his rapid beating heart in his chest, the emotions he was feeling weren’t normal. He seems to forgot that he was an angel before being sent to hell to rule for an eternity, if the delicate white wings on his back weren’t proof enough, he had a heart full of emotions he’s never experienced to get his answer. 

 

The door opens slowly, and he sees a head of brown hair picked up into a ponytail and a headband. Trixie’s head pops out, and she smiles. “How long were you out here?” 

 

“ _Oh_ , for only ten minutes.” He jokes, leaning down with shaky hands on his knees to level himself. “You couldn’t let me in sooner?” 

 

“I was in my room, sorry.” 

 

“Don’t you worry your little head about it, alright? Thank you.” Lucifer ushers quickly, stepping into the automatic warmth he feels when entering the house. He’s been in here so many times, either working on cases or catching the detective in unfortunate situations. 

 

“Where’s the bathroom?” He asks as he looks around frantically. 

 

The smaller girl points to the left to a room down the hall, and Lucifer takes a deep breath and makes his way down the hall. He could do this, he could talk to her without getting emotional. He’s the one that gets like this around her. 

 

He calls out her name, only after hearing a bedroom door close. “Detective?” 

 

The closer he gets to the bathroom door, the more nervous he gets, and the more noises he hears. Chloe was crying in the room, with nobody to console her and Lucifer can’t help himself. “I won’t show you or anyone else in the house my true form, I promise.” 

 

“L-Lucifer?” Chloe’s hoarse voice speaks and it’s so low, he could’ve missed it. 

 

He sighs shakily, “In the very flesh.” 

 

“What are you doing here? Is Trixie okay? Did you hu—“ 

 

“ _No_.” Lucifer states, honestly quite offended that his partner would ever think he would do such a thing. He doesn’t show it often, or at all, but he does care for her child. “It _pains_ me for you to think I’d ever hurt the girl.” 

 

He hears her try to keep a laugh from escaping her mouth, and it really did hurt him to know that she didn’t want to laugh with him. She croaks out, “She’s safe?” 

 

“As long as I’m here, she always will be.” 

 

Now, there’s so much truth behind his words. _Truth_. He was one of the most powerful beings that occupy Earth and beyond, and Chloe finally knows that. He doesn’t need to joke about it to fuel her amusement with whatever metaphor that was his life, not anymore. Lucifer was the  devil, the very real one, and he could never betray that reality. It was who he was, but there’s layers of his person that he didn’t even want to understand. 

 

Because to understand fully, means that he understands _why_ he cares so much about Chloe. An emotion that didn’t make any sense to him, but everytime he’s by her side, it did. 

 

He reaches the door, and he fights the temptation to open it himself because of the power he has. He was only outside her house a few minutes ago, fighting the same instinct to protect the woman from himself, but he was closer. He could be with her if he wanted to, but it wasn’t what she _desired_. After all, he was the person to fuel desires of humans. 

 

Lucifer sets his hand gently against the door, “Are you afraid of me?”

 

He doesn’t even try to hide how vulnerable he is, he lets his voice come out broken and weak. It’s what he was when he was around Chloe, she’s the one who makes him bleed. She’s the only person to cause him pain. 

 

“Lucifer, I-“ 

 

He cuts her off with his eyes shut so hard that it physically hurts, “It won’t change anything,” 

 

“Just answer me, detective.” 

 

She takes a breath, long and lung consuming and all he could do was hold his. “I could never be afraid of you, I told you that before.” 

 

“You ran away from me.” Lucifer says, his hand sliding as he loses the will to steady himself. She’s all that matters to him, _he hates to bring his father into any of his thoughts_ , but _God_ , Chloe Decker was his person. His only person. “I know you must be shaken up with seeing my face but I was telling the truth all along.” 

 

Chloe sniffles back more tears, “I didn’t believe you, Lucifer, you told me so many times and I didn’t believe you.” 

 

“I told you that you wouldn’t understand my problems, and I was right.” He argues, feeling a unfamiliar lump grow in his throat. His own tears threatened to spill and he wouldn’t dare let them show.

 

“You see me for who I really am, but you don’t understand? Is that so?” 

 

“How can I possibly understand?” She stands abruptly, Lucifer only knows this because he hears something creak. “My partner is the actual devil, how can I not be scared?” Chloe’s voice is clear to hear and his head perks. “Please tell me how, I don’t want to be angry with you. The last thing I want is for me to be scared of you, but I-I can’t stop—“ 

 

 _I can’t stop myself from being absolutely terrified of you_. 

 

He knows that she wanted to say, but he bites his tongue. “It’s normal to react like this. It’s who I am, Chloe. Neither of us can ever change that, and I’m so sorry you had to see me like that.” 

 

“It’s all real? Everything you’ve told me?” 

 

He nods even though she can’t see him and smiles, “Every last thing.”

 

She leans into the door, “I don’t know what to think, but I know you aren’t a monster. Not the Lucifer I’ve come to like to be around, you aren’t—“ 

 

He suddenly snaps, backing away from the door in one swift move. “Is that really the truth? You ran away from me like I would kill you, detective. That’s what _bloody_ hurts, I would never cause you any harm.” Lucifer doesn’t seem to care that his voice is getting louder and possibly more frightening, more dark..but he can’t help it. “You’re the very last person I’d ever hurt.”’

 

”But at the crime scene, you killed—“ 

 

He feels a few warm tears cascade down his face, not giving a damn about who saw him this time. “I killed them to protect us! To protect you, Chloe....I did that for you.” Lucifer throws his hands up into the air, “They made me so angry with the world, I couldn’t help how or why my Devil face showed up, but it did.” 

 

Chloe is silent, and it’s felt like an eternity that lasted longer than his time in Hell. He could hear his heart beating fast, his chest caving and his back aching because of the angel wings encouraging life to fill themselves.

 

“I’m still the same person—“ He pleads against the wooden frame, “I’ll still be there to be a nuisance constantly, to rid you of Daniel’s nagging and to buy you coffee every morning before work. I’m still _me_ , detective.” 

 

“Lucifer, I understand.” Chloe begins to say, “I just don’t know how to act around you right now. This just happened so fast and It’s not that I don’t believe you, because I _shockingly_ do, but I need time to adjust.” 

 

“What are you implying for me to do? Do you not want to work with me anymore?” 

 

 _Do you not want to be with me anymore_? 

 

“I do, I still want that.” 

 

Lucifer bites his lip to keep from smiling for the first time that night, “I’m so relieved.” 

 

“However, you won’t meet me tomorrow morning.” Chloe’s voice sounds strained the longer she pauses, “I need more than a day to figure this out.” 

 

“ _Oh_...” Lucifer could’ve heard his heart shatter if it wasn’t for the ringing he feels in his ears. Of course, she wouldn’t want to see him until she calms down. He steps away finally, taking both his hands and raking them through his shiny black hair. They rake down to the back of his neck in disappointment, and he feels the still warm blood hiding beneath his shirt collar. With his mind drawing a blank, he speaks softly. “Whatever you want for me to do, Chloe.” 

 

He just had to accept this. 

 

She had to accept him, _first_. 

 

 

Lucifer turns around to start walking to the door in silence, wondering how he was going to sleep when the day went as horrible as it did. He had to show humans his ethereal angel wings, and wrap them around Chloe to protect her body as she recovered from a fainting spell. He debates with the decision to just walk out, or say a few words to Beatrice to calm down the worry about her mother...but he doesn’t. He chooses not to. 

 

Until, he hears the knob of a door click and it patiently opens. 

 

Lucifer stops in his tracks, feeling his feet stick to the floor as if they were glued down and he listens carefully. His fingers tingled with an emotion of excitement or nerves, he wasn’t sure, but he tilts his head to the side. Could it truly be— 

 

“Chloe?” 

 

He asks with a gentle tone, not willing to turn to face her yet. His lips are trembling as they wait in anticipation to answer whatever question she wants to ask him. “Showing me to the door, are you?” 

 

“I just had—“ Chloe begins to say and it’s confident and quite demanding, so Lucifer doesn’t dare move. “I-I just have to see for myself, get a real look at you.” 

 

She puts a hand on his shoulder and starts to turn him around, and he lets her control everything they do. The first thing Lucifer sees when they lock eyes is the curiousity burning in her gaze. Her brows are furrowed together, her blue eyes are wide and trying to roam every feature of his face in a span of seconds. 

 

Chloe stutters, “Can I touch your face?” 

 

“Detective, you’ve never been one to ask for things.” Lucifer tried to tease, just a little, but he stops. They were so close to eachother, the warmth cascading from her body was enough to make the day’s events worth while. He didn’t make a mistake. “Of course, go ahead.” 

 

When she hesitates with her hands midway to touching him, he sets his fingers against her elbow to push her upwards to let her know it was okay. He nods slowly, relaxing when her pointer finger and thumb start to caress the sides of his face. 

 

“You still feel the same.” She decides after a few more seconds, tears filling her eyes again. 

 

“I’ve changed my appearance multiple times before today, you just don’t believe me half the time and it’s just a single part of me.” 

 

Chloe smiles and rubs her own face with her hands, trying to see if this was all real. “So, you’re really the Devil, huh?” 

 

Lucifer pulls away from her, like she had done with him. The realization hitting him hard, “You don’t seem to think so?” 

 

“It’s a lot of things to process, here Lucifer.” She gestures tiredly, the emotions drained out of her. “You’re human but a demon? Angel? The son of—“ 

 

“Chloe, don’t say my father’s name.” 

 

“Although it’s true?” 

 

“Sadly, yes.” 

 

Lucifer holds in a breath, “I’m a mixture of all those species....The most logical to describe myself, is probably a former angel who got banished to hell because I wasn’t a _daddy’s_ boy.” 

 

Chloe’s eyes bulged, and she reaches for his forearm in comfort. “That’s true too? Your father really got rid of you?” 

 

He reaches for her elbow, with the same arm that she’s holding and rubs some circles into her skin. She can’t stop looking up at him, and it was quite terrifying. “I never lied to you, and it’s not like I liked him that much either.” 

 

Suddenly, she reaches to cup his face in her soft hands. The stubble on his chin was noticeable and scratchy, he feels it all when she starts to caress his face. His eyes seem to glow; not the infamous red that he boasts often, but a light shade of brown. If it was even possible, they seemed to focus only on her. 

 

“You’re still my partner, right? I don’t have to worry about the actual Lucifer being kidnapped _again_ —“ Chloe starts to ramble with a few wisps of her blonde hair framing her face, that Lucifer is just dying to sweep behind her ears. “—Or that the _actual_ Devil is in my house with my daughter in a room down the hallway.” 

 

Her hands are warm, so he guesses that’s why she jumps when he sets both his hands on top of her’s. 

 

Lucifer adjusts his stance, “It’s a shame that we never caught my kidnapper isn’t it? I’m still wondering why I woke up in the middle of the desert with my wings back.” He chuckles, when she freezes against him. “Detective, there’s nothing you need to worry about. If anything, I was the one who was _extremely_ worrisome about how to tell you the truth.” 

 

“But, you were telling the truth the entire time? I was the one who didn’t believe you either.” She argues, trying to pry her hands away with caution but Lucifer kept his hands clutched in her’s. She had to listen to him. 

 

“I knew you didn’t believe me, so I kept playing it off like some silly joke.”

 

He lets go of her, and doesn’t expect it when she leans into his chest. Chloe Decker; his partner, his friend, the woman he would die for, was cuddling into his chest. Her arms wrap around his back, pulling him closer to her body. 

 

He would never lie, and he won’t, but this was what would rather be for the rest of eternity. Lucifer could feel her chest caving, her fingers interlocking around him and gripping onto his suit jacket. He could feel _so_ much, right then.

 

”I’m sorry for everything.” She pleads, her lips are pressed together because her head won’t lift from his shirt. “Lucifer, I’m sorry.”

 

“Chloe, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I just didn’t want to hide from you anymore, no going backwards, remember that?”

 

”No more going backwards, I wonder who said that?” She teases, pressing her chin into his chest as she looks up. 

 

“I remember exactly who said it.” He gets lost in her eyes again, and he lets himself drown into the feeling of complete devotion. “A certain woman told me that once a few weeks ago, and she’s the most _beautiful_ person I’ve ever met.”

 

Lucifer never breaks the intense gaze they shared but continued, “She’s hardworking, stubborn, playful and smart. All of the things I dream of being and she doesn’t _even_ need to try.” 

 

Chloe’s breath hitches in her throat as Lucifer’s thumb reaches to brush against her forehead, he starts to trace her features and her mind goes into overload of thoughts. It made sense, she knew that she was his source of wisdom but after the events of today, she couldn’t believe how honest he would be. The day was filled with things she couldn’t understand, but it was alright for now. 

 

It would be okay. She didn’t need to be scared around him, not her partner. 

 

Her eyes flutter shut with an emotion she can’t describe, mixed with desire and shock. Chloe could feel his hints of breath on her face, like he’s leaning into her but she doesn’t act on it. Then, the memories of seeing his red pulsing face fueled with anger and passion to punish was flashing in her mind. _It was okay_. 

 

“I think I should go now.”

 

The moment was over, and her eyes fly open. She sets a hand on his heart to feel how intense it was beating, and she shakes her head. “What?”

 

“Clearly, you need time detective. I won’t push you, just call me if you need me when you’re ready.” 

 

Lucifer takes her hands off his body slowly and his gaze won’t leave the floor because he’s fighting himself on why he’s letting her go. Why, exactly? As a matter of fact, he was leaning into her affection but she flinched in his arms like she had gotten touched by him, the _real_ him. 

 

After that, a switch went off in his head. 

 

She was right, they needed time to evaluate their findings. She needed time to figure out how she feels about him being truly evil, and he does the same. 

 

“Lucifer I—“ 

 

“Will you show me out? I should really be going, Chloe.” He says with no emotion because if he accepts how he feels, he won’t leave. A long look at his watch around his wrist was enough, and she was leading him towards the door. 

 

“You should know the way outside...” 

 

She tried to make it not seem awkward but that’s _all_ her day was. 

 

“I just wanted to have you next to me that’s all.” Lucifer forces a wide smile and he opens the front door himself, “I’ll see you soon.” 

 

He doesn’t look back at how hurt her face was, how her face dropped into disappointment directed at his actions or how a frown was growing on her lips. 

 

Chloe taught him that, so he’ll learn to wait for her. The wonderful perks of being immortal was that time was on his side, it always will be. 

 

The good thing about acknowledging it?

 

Lucifer reaches behind his back to rub at his shoulders, a groan escaping as he remembers who he was. An angel with wings, a man who punishes evil, he could truly make time for whatever he wants.

 

The only good thing about acknowledging how long he could wait for a person he loved, was that Chloe _now_ knows it too.  


End file.
